Arriving at the back door I called out “Andy (Meow)…Andy (Meow)?...,” where’s he gone, I thought to myself, he always comes straight to the back door to let me in. How bizarre.
And then I spotted this flash of blonde, wild curly hair.
WHAT ON EARTH IS THAT!?
That is NOT Andy. Firstly, it’s a she-male. Secondly, she doesn’t seem very friendly. Thirdly she has walked in the other direction and not given me a second look. Where has Andy gone?
Being the persistent feline that I am, I sat there for a good 3 hours before it hit me - she’s NOT a cat person. My life is over. How am I going to win her affection? Andy’s gone and this new human is here. I need to go back to basics. I need to work my charm and win her over if I want to get back inside that cosy house… challenge accepted!
It may be winter now, but I will persistently meow at the back door every single day until she starts looking my way. 6 or 7 hours straight if I have to. I’m not going anywhere lady! I was here first.
The problem I’ve got, is that Scamp over the road keeps pooping on her lawn, and she thinks it’s me, so this is going to be harder than I thought because she doesn’t like me to begin with so getting in the door will be a challenge in itself.
Nevertheless, I’ll find a way. I’ll wait until my moment arrives to introduce myself properly – and I’ll just keep showing up until she’s aware of my existence!
Top Tip: On Facebook, someone has to see your posts or adverts over 10 times before their brain even acknowledges it. Make them aware – and be persistent!
I’ve got 7 seconds to make a great first impression (although she might not appreciate that I’ve just waltzed in here so that may be cut in half!). She’s upstairs, I can hear her. I’m going to wait here and greet her with the sweetest face.
Here she comes... it's so tense.
But then...the words “you’re actually pretty cute” fall off her tongue as she bends down to stroke me and I just know, I’ve got to keep showing up whenever I can – build that trust – show her I can be beneficial to her too (I know she lives alone, she’s in the market for a housemate I reckon!) and eventually she won’t be able to live without me!
Top Tip: Seize the opportunity – once you find a route to enter, go for it! If you don’t someone else will jump in there!
It’s also massively helped that she’s had her garden done and now Scamp doesn’t use it as a toilet anymore so she knows it wasn’t me to begin with! (Phew) I just poo on her front lawn – kidding!
Anyway, I’ve learnt that her name is Emma. I was right, she is a dog person (god knows why – vulgar slobbery things) but I’ve overheard her talking about me to her friends and she’s always taking photos of me, so I must be doing something right! I have mastered the art of posing, she just can’t get enough of me!
When she sunbathes, I sunbathe.
When she snuggles on the sofa, I keep her company (I’m allowed in the lounge now!) she even shares her snuggle rug with me.
And the other day, she gave me cat treats!
She’s FINALLY started to see the benefits of having me around.
I’ve made her aware, I’ve persistently kept turning up, I’ve shown her how much value I can add, now the next step – Upsell!
Top Tip: Do not try and move in on the first date! Build the trust and let them come to you…Slowly Slowly catchy…mousey?
I rarely get left in the rain, she lets me sit on her lap whilst she tickles my head for hours, I get the occasional treat and she opens the back door most days after work to see if I’m about (I made a den just the other side of her back garden fence so I could always hear that backdoor open) You should always listen to your prospects to never miss an opportunity. You may call that stalking, but I call it showing up – and it certainly worked!
Now I’ve got the basic service I needed from her, affection, attention, the occasional snack and a dry place to cat nap – onto the premium level… toys and actual food!
Time to turn up the charm, to get more in return.
Top Tip: Never settle for what you’ve got, there is another sale in there somewhere – upsell, cross-sell… you can absolutely get more out of your customers once you’ve got your paws in the door!
I go to Grahams (next door) when Emma isn’t in, and over the road to Meg’s house when Graham isn’t there. But all Emma cares about is that when she needs me, I’m there!
What’s great, is that there’s 2 of them now, Olivia has turned up and … she IS a cat person, so she was a lot easier to charm. Now I will play them off each other and make them fight for my attention… Emma loves me (I heard it with my own ears!) I will NOW make sure she can’t live without me and every snack she gives me I’ll give her more love, every toy she buys me I’ll play with it always, and I’ll try my absolute hardest to not scratch her (even when she’s demanding too much from me and I reaaaally want to scratch her eyeballs out!)
Top Tip: Always remember, what’s in it for me? That’s ALL your customers & clients care about. Make sure they can see the benefits and you’re not just selling features! Stay loyal to them, and they will stay loyal to you!
I really didn’t think I’d ever win her over – she seemed so disinterested in what I had to offer, she never paid me any attention and she was convinced she didn’t need a ginger cat (called ginger - cheers Mick!) in her life. She always talked about getting a dog in the early days – but I know that for as long as I’m around, I’ve got no competition! I don’t even think she’d get a cat of her own, she wouldn’t want to upset me, plus - I am practically her cat now.
Mick is my real Dad, he could have called me anything, but he called me - my colour. At least everyone knows my name. I also have a cat-brother – and a dog-brother too.
But Emma is my slave…ahem, I mean friend. I had to work hard for her – she buys me toys, protects me from the rain, let’s me sleep on her lap, let’s me join in with the puzzles and gives me treats.
In return, I show up – look cute – and let her hold me like a baby (sometimes).
You know you’ve made it and you’re totally irreplaceable when you make it into their family Christmas photo.